Do you ever give your friend a compliment? Tell them they look great in a shirt, tell them they killed a job interview, and even told them they’re hot? Of course you have! It is what we do as kind individuals, it is what we do with the people we care about.
So tell me, why is it difficult for us to accept compliments from others?
We do it for others we care about without thought but find it difficult to do accept for ourselves; I guess the question is, do you think you deserve love?
I know I am coming off a bit harsh, but I think it’s time that accepting praise became less taboo. I think it’s time the act of affirming yourself didn’t follow with ideas like, “Does this make me self centered?” “Am I being arrogant?” “I don’t deserve this praise.” “I should deny this compliment so I don’t look like I have a big head.”
Here’s the thing, if you don’t think you deserve a compliment--you don’t.
If you think you’re self-centered--you are.
If you’re not going to accept love, then you won't.
Okay now here comes the Lewis love. I truly believe everyone wants to feel loved, we don’t think we’re self-centered, we do think we deserve compliments; so why do we consistently repel them? From a personal point, when someone compliments my writing, singing, or acting, my instant reaction is either
1.) The Denial. “Oh, hush. I was alright. It wasn’t my best.”
2.) The Redirect. “No, I was alright, but you’re great!!”
For me, it comes from a place of incredible insecurity. Not that I am scared people will see my insecure parts, but having lived under my insecurity for so long that if someone affirms me it proves the insecurity I have is not 100% true. I think this is something we all do. Fear is everywhere, so we can expect it will be there. We feel it hurts us less if we are ready for it. We feel like love is rare and comes so infrequently that we cannot rely on it, do we deny on it.
But what kind of world do we live in if we are investing in negativity? Could it be that love and positivity aren’t rare, but feels that way because we’ve decorated the walls of our minds with society's propaganda and not our own?
All of this is to say that if you can give a compliment, you can take a compliment. And you should! There comes a time when we each have to decide for ourselves how much love we let in and how much negativity we let it. I hope you realize that every moment is a moment that can go either way and more often than not, it is up to you.
Think about it this way, if you show some love to yourself and others, then there is more love in the world. That is a fact. And you deserve it, you deserve to affirm the beauty that people see in you. Simple as that.
You are enough.