Brought to me from an angel. Thank you, Z.
In an amazingly warm conversation about feeling good and bathing in joy, I shared an anecdote about how I had prevailed ANTs in the morning. ANTs, being Automated Negative Thought’s. These thoughts that just seem to pop into our heads and, without awareness and acknowledgment, can lead to a downward spiral of pity, anger, and despair. Thoughts like, “Oh, I didn’t get enough sleep; my day is going to suck.”
“I look horrible today, and I don’t want to be seen.”
“I just overslept. I never get up in time.”
“This is too hard. I just know I will fail.”
“Why bother? Someone else probably already thought of this.”
“I’ll never be good enough.”
To name a few, I have felt before.
My dear friend Z offered some wisdom that I cannot seem to shake out of my head. Z said, “Are you even aware of your thoughts that are the first thoughts in the morning?” The truth is, a lot of mornings of mine begin with a kind of criticism that is not helpful nor healthy. I wondered what my day could be like if my day started with affirmation, hope, and, if anything, love. Who would I be if I lead my life starting from a place of grace toward myself and the world around me? Who would you be?
Here is how I feel about it, when you speak negatively, it doesn’t just affect you. It affects everything around you and transcends you like mud tracking in the house. It goes everywhere. Let’s dissect that. A scenario:
You wake up in the morning, and you say, “Ugh. I just hate this day. I don’t look forward to it at all”. The words, spoken with the oxygen from your body, spray into the room. The air spreads that negativity into your pillows, chairs, bags, shirts, things, and more becoming examples of the world you claim to live in. Your outfit is no longer just a piece of self-expression, but the worn outfit on the day you hate. The breakfast you eat is riddled with thoughts of what’s to come. Dare I say you are ingesting a meal that will fuel your disappointment with how the day is. Someone running late for work cut’s you off in the street or on the subway train; their action is like kerosene to your self-fulling prophecy that this day is straight out of hell.
So, let’s see what could have been. But I’d like to be clear; the day could probably still a tough, unexciting day.
You wake up in the morning, and you say, “I know today may be difficult, but let’s see what we can do about it.” The words. spoken with the oxygen from your body spray into the room. The air spreads that possibility into your pillows, chairs, bags, shirts, things, and more become examples of the world you can hope for. Your outfit is no longer just a piece of self-expression but an outfit that is armor against negativity. The breakfast you eat is energy. Energy for what’s to come. Dare I say you are ingesting a meal that will fuel your ability to aid you in your power. Someone running late for work cut’s you off in the street or on the subway train. Their action is met with understanding. “I’ve been there,” you might think.
I cannot deny the difficulty of waking up in a country where we see so much pain and venom and not let that affect our days. I know it will; however; I do believe in a world where maybe if we start from a place of goodness, a place of kindness, and a place that speaks to healing and love--perhaps we can then go out into the world to slay the demons, shout for equality, push for joy, and influence peace not hate.
You are enough.